The Higher Graces
by Strega Brava
Summary: COMPLETE Thanks to a curious cat, Severus discovers that there is always hope. To be considered AU and OOC to some degree.
1. Speranza

**_Disclaimer_**_:  Anything you recognize belongs to the goddess, JKR.  This was directly inspired by "Heart of the Wolf" which is written by metallicafangirl.  There may be something like this elsewhere but any similarities are not intentional.  I merely decided to reverse the situation and make this a stand-alone.  No romance.  Dedicated to Valancy, Drusilla, Gabriele, Giulia, Lynn, Tessie, Marek, Rhonda, Anne and Heather – you know why._

Speranza 

It was still very new.  In fact, at times she almost forgot that she was padding the corridors of Hogwarts in an assumed form.  A newly acquired form.  She loved the fact that she was able to go out after curfew and not have to resort to borrowing Harry's invisibility cloak.  She craved the freedom.  She craved the solitude and the quiet.  

Her only regret was that she could not tell anyone.  Not yet.  Not until she was registered and she could not do that until her seventh year was complete…a matter of a few weeks.  Until then, it was her secret and she guarded it jealously.

Her only contact tonight had been with Mrs. Norris who seemed to think she was nothing more than an ordinary cat.  Hermione had been nervous that Filch's companion would somehow recognize the Gryffindor seventh year behind those cat-like eyes but it was not the case.  Mrs. Norris merely inquired whether she had seen any mice nearby and Hermione had casually directed her to a suit of armor behind which was a half-eaten pumpkin pasty.  Thanking her fellow cat, Mrs. Norris walked away with a grateful meow.

Hermione immediately pretended to be coughing up hairballs as she imagined Ron's reaction to what had just transpired.

_"Oh yes, Mrs. Norris and I spent some quality time together and I pointed her in the direction of several succulent rodents.  We are planning on raiding the kitchen next week and meowing at the full moon tomorrow night,"_ she thought to herself as she continued on.

Hermione made her way through the corridor outside Moaning Myrtle's bathroom.  It was flooded again and the light from the almost-full moon gave her the opportunity to look at her reflection.  She looked like an ordinary housecat.  Nondescript grey fur with a hint of frizz.  Green eyes.  Not too large in size and not too small either.  She was a cat and there was nothing about her that would make her stand out.  Exactly as she had hoped.  

The whole decision to become an animagus had initially started through a conversation with Sirius.  He had explained what was involved and gave her his assurances that she would be able to do it as well.  Hermione imagined that he expected her to wait until graduation before attempting the complicated training.  He did not realize that she could be just as impulsive as him, given the proper motivation.

Padding carefully through the water, Hermione decided to go to the one place she hadn't dared before.  The dungeons.  Taking a deep, cat-like breath (and with a defiant twitch of her whiskers), she turned down another corridor and proceeded to the darker and danker sections of the castle.  This was Slytherin territory and she could be sure to find students breaking curfew here.  She kept to the shadows, wary of any potential danger.  After all, Crabbe was fond of throwing things at Mrs. Norris and why would he treat her any differently?  A cat was a cat.

And she didn't want to have to explain any additional strange wounds or bruises to Madam Pomfrey.  Hermione was already in her debt for having kept her secret regarding the botched polyjuice potion back in second year.

On a whim, she paused to peer into the Potions classroom.  It was quiet…very peaceful.  She could not imagine anyone, other than herself, spending time here willingly.  Class or detention, otherwise it was very empty.

Only this time it wasn't.  She caught the scent of him before she actually saw him.  Trotting quietly into the classroom, she followed the scent of potions ingredients, the sound of splashing, the eerie glow of the cauldron's fire…the quiet mumbling of instructions.   There, standing over a bubbling cauldron in the furthest corner of the classroom, was Professor Snape.  He had his back to her so, feeling adventurous, she quietly padded closer.

_"I wonder what he is brewing?"_ she wondered as she tried to read the labels on the bottles near the cauldron.

She sat down, sphinx-like, and watched him in utter silence.  He obviously was so involved in his work that he had not noticed his feline visitor.  Deft movements.  Precise measurements.  Expert technique.  The incantation spoken at just the right moment.  Expected reactions.  Expected result.

In short, perfection itself.  Not a single mistake…but rather a fluidity that Hermione found rather fascinating to watch.  He was never like this in class.  Never allowed himself to demonstrate just how much he loved his craft.  And, Hermione had the strangest feeling, that he would not be as happy if he ever earned the right to teach Defense Against the Dark Arts.  He just seemed too well suited to this.

And, for the first time she could recall, Hermione felt jealous.  She knew that she had a better grasp of the concepts and theories behind Potions than any other student in Hogwarts but, when it came to technique, she recognized the fact that she had a lot to learn.  While there had never been any serious issues with technique (despite Professor Snape's propensity to deduct points for stirring a potion too well) she suddenly felt that she was clumsy in comparison to these studied motions.

_"I suppose that is what happens when you become a Potions Master,"_ she thought to herself, tongue flicking out to clean a lifted paw.

But the most surprising thing was how peaceful he looked.  He moved with ease and there was none of the bitter tension that was so commonplace with Potions classes.  He seemed relaxed and she could not remember a time when Professor Snape was relaxed.

He picked up a ladle, dipped it into the steaming cauldron and proceeded to pour the amber liquid into a nearby goblet.  He put the ladle down and suddenly fished through his pockets, pulling out a piece of parchment.  He read it over quickly, nodded, as if satisfied with whatever was written on it, and put it back in his pocket.  He quickly extinguished the fire and put the various pieces of equipment away.  Hermione crouched in the shadows, not wanting to be noticed.  He took a quick glance around the room and, after picking up the goblet, began to walk out of the room.

Curiosity killed the cat…and Hermione was a cat so she followed the dark figure out of the classroom and through a variety of corridors.  He was not easy to keep pace with as he was a tall man but she did have the advantage of four legs and keen eyesight so it was not terribly difficult.  She could not say with certainty why she was following him but something in his expression compelled her.  Perhaps it was the curious nature of the cat that sparked her into action. 

He stopped in front of his office door and, muttering a quick spell, entered.  Hermione quickly followed before the door closed and hid behind a pile of books.

Professor Snape moved to the chair behind his desk and sat down, placing the goblet in front of him.  He pulled out the parchment again and began reading. 

Hermione could not keep still any longer.  With a soft meow and a cat heart that was beating frantically from fear of being discovered, she left her hiding place and jumped gracefully onto his desk.

He dropped the parchment in surprise and muttered an expletive, which would have made her blush had she been in her human form.

She sat down on her haunches and gave an innocent meow, trying to look as ordinary as possible.

"How on earth did you get in here?" He asked, glaring at the cat.

Hermione simply watched him.  After all, he did not really expect an answer from a mere cat.

"Well, I suppose it will be all right," he sighed.  " After all, you won't need to bear my company for much longer."

Hermione cocked her head to one side and then cursed herself a Hufflepuff fool.  What if he suspected that the cat was more than it appeared?

Luckily, he did not notice and was instead pointing to the parchment.

"It's all here.  My goodbye to the world.  Think of yourself as lucky.  You will be the only witness to the end of Severus Snape."

Hermione began to wonder what this was all about.  And she started to feel a bit frightened.

"Let me show you something," he reached over to pick her up.  For a moment, she considered struggling against him but she could feel that he was shaking and instead accepted his caresses.  Something was troubling him terribly and she had to find out what it was.  He pointed to the goblet.  "It smells good, doesn't it?"

Hermione stretched her head towards the goblet but he pushed her back.  "No, don't do that.  It is only for me."

"Mrowr," said Hermione, her senses tingling with the scent of the potion.  This was not something they had ever created in class.  It smelled…dangerous.

"Reductus poison.  A most potent form of poison that will kill almost immediately.  Quick.  Painless.  Clean and neat.  Perhaps a better death than I deserve, given what I have done, but death all the same.

Hermione's heart began beating very fast.  Professor Snape was going to commit suicide.  A cursory glance at the parchment confirmed this…it was little more than a goodbye and an apology to the Headmaster for disappointing him.  He was tired of the suspicious glances.  Tired of being regarded as something less than human.  Tired of seeing the hatred in most of his students and the wheedling falsehoods of his own house.

_"There is nothing left for me…nothing.  Voldemort is gone and I am still here to what purpose?"_ the parchment read, the writing surprisingly sure and steady.

Hermione was shocked and saddened at the same time.  While she certainly did not like the melancholy figure holding her, she certainly did not want him to kill himself.  But what could a mere cat hope to accomplish?

He held her close for several minutes.  She listened to his thudding heart.  She felt his trembling.  And she felt, for the very first time, a sense of sympathy for him.  She found it difficult to forgive him for being so cruel to her and her classmates over the last seven years…but she understood something of the man beneath the veneer.  He was still frightening and bitter and wore a perpetual scowl.  But he was a man…not a monster.

And she would be damned to hell if she did not stop him from doing this.  Her Gryffindor conscience screamed at her to do something.

"Well, I suppose I must say goodbye, little cat.  My apologies if I have not been better company," he gently put her back on the floor and scratched under her chin, chuckling slightly when he heard her purr.

Hermione waited.  He folded up the parchment and sealed it with his own personal seal.  Placing it in the exact center of his desk, he smiled grimly and turned his attention to the goblet.  He picked it up and looked at it pensively.  Hermione flicked her tail impatiently, waiting for the right moment and, just when he was about to bring the goblet to his lips, she knew it was time to act.

With a single bound, Hermione landed on Severus' arm and, with a loud meow and a rather vicious snick of her claws, she managed to get him to drop the goblet as he gripped his wrist and cried out in sudden pain.  The poison spilled harmlessly onto his robes and the goblet clattered to the ground.  Before he could grab her, she leapt to the floor and darted behind some books.  She was trapped but he was safe.

"What have you done!?" He got up and roared at her, glancing at his soaked robes in utter disbelief.  "Stupid cat…do you know how long I have prepared for this?"  He began to throw books onto the ground, trying to discover and probably disembowel his little intruder.  He was in a total rage and ranted incoherently as he methodically destroyed his office.  

Hermione ran from hiding place to hiding place, trying desperately to avoid being blasted into oblivion.  The door was closed and there was no way for her to open it…she could not get out!  She paused for a moment, ready to jump behind a broken urn when strong hands suddenly captured her.

Professor Snape was livid.  His normally pale face had splotches of red on it and his hair fell into his face.  It seemed that he was trying to think of something to say but was having trouble speaking past the anger in his throat.  Hermione felt herself growing faint because his vice-like grip was making it difficult to breathe.  She had to do something before he killed her or, worse yet, discovered her secret.

So, she did the first thing she could think of.  She leaned forward meekly and licked his chin.

That immediately got his attention.  He looked at her in shock and, slowly, softened his grip.  She did it again and this time, rubbed her head against his face, purring.

_"I don't particularly like you but I don't want you dead either,"_ she thought to herself, hoping he wouldn't throw her across the room .

Suddenly, she found herself being held against his chest as he sobbed brokenly into her fur.  This was very uncomfortable but Hermione knew better than to squirm.  So she continued purring and hoped that he would come to his senses soon.

When at last he pulled away to look at her, Hermione could see that he was calmer but still shaking somewhat.

"I suppose," he muttered, trying to dredge up some of that infamous Snape attitude, "you will want some reward for sparing my sorry life, little cat."

Hermione purred in what she hoped was a wheedling manner.

"Hmph," Professor Snape snorted.  "You are a manipulative beast, aren't you?  I sense a definite Slytherin streak in you.  Wait just a moment."  He put her down on his desk and, pulling his wand out, conjured up a bowl of milk.  Hermione dutifully walked over to it and began to drink.

He continued running his hand along her back and watched as she made short work of the treat. "It has been a long time since I have had a pet…a very long time.  What do you think?  I seem to be in your debt.  It's the least I can do."

Hermione stretched as she deliberately got up and walked over to the envelope that was still on the desk and began sharpening her claws on it.

"You're right, of course.  I should dispose of that," he gently nudged her away before picking up the envelope and tearing it into pieces.

She then jumped down onto the floor and moved to stand by the door.

"I understand.  Many mice to catch before the sun rises?  Very well.  I should try to get some sleep so that I can put up with the Gryffindor seventh years tomorrow," he smirked as he got up to open the door.  "Will I be seeing you again?"

She rubbed against his leg, purring in affirmation.  She couldn't say that she liked Professor Snape but she did want to make certain that he would be all right.  For everything that he had done during the war, he certainly deserved that.

"Until the next time…and I will think of a name for you as well.  Happy hunting," he kneeled down to scratch under her chin briefly and, as he stood up, Hermione bounded away.

Finally reaching her dormitory she jumped up into her bed and changed into her human form.  Listening to the quiet snores of the other girls, Hermione looked out the window and watched the moon as it went to hide behind some dark clouds.  She felt proud and excited.  She had saved a life.  She had done something truly wonderful tonight.

And she had become Professor Snape's pet.

Hermione buried her face in her pillows so that her friends would not awaken to the sounds of her hysterical laughter.

****************************The next morning***************************

Hermione was enthusiastically eating her breakfast when Ron came in, looking rather irritable.  She exchanged a knowing glance with Harry before returning to her scrambled eggs.

"All right there, Ron?" Harry asked innocently, chewing on a strip of bacon.

"I couldn't finish my Potions essay.  I swear Snape's got a vendetta against me.  How do you write 4 feet of parchment on fever-reducing potions?  It's bloody impossible," Ron replied morosely, stacking his plate with waffles.

Hermione decided that now was not a good time to show him her essay, which was 1.5 feet longer than required.

"I wish he would just do us all a favour and take a leap off the Astronomy Tower," Ron grumbled as he speared a boiled egg rather viciously.

"Don't say that!" Hermione yelled, the Great Hall becoming strangely silent at her unexpected outburst.

Harry and Ron looked at her in shock.

"You don't wish that on anyone, Ron Weasley!  Do you hear me?  No one!"  Hermione put her fork down and glared at Ron.  "You don't know him…none of us do!" 

For a moment there was an awkward pause before quiet conversations began at the various tables and a sense of normalcy returned.

"She's got a point, Ron," Harry agreed as he munched on some toast.

Hermione hazarded a glance to the Head Table where Professor Snape sat, deep in a conversation with Professor Sinistra.  She quickly returned to her breakfast before he could notice.

She had come to a decision about her future and, in her heart; she knew it was the right one.

*************************Two weeks later************************

"It rather surprises me that you would choose a Potions apprenticeship under my tutelage, Miss Granger," Professor Snape sat at his desk, looking over the application that Hermione had given him earlier in the day.

"Professor McGonagall had hoped that I would choose to continue my studies in Transfiguration but I made it clear that my future was in Potions," Hermione replied politely.  She saw the slight smirk that passed over his mouth before he schooled his expression into casual indifference.  She had felt all along that putting the offer forward as a loss to her Head of House would put it in a more favourable light in his eyes.  She almost smirked herself when she realized that she was really being quite underhanded about it.

_"I think that my animagus form has instilled some very Slytherin aspects to my personality,"_ she thought to herself in amusement.

He looked over the application again and shook his head slightly.

"Sir, are you rejecting my application?  I have had the highest Potions marks in all my seven years.  I have completed extra assignments each year…exceeded requirements for essays on a constant basis…you can't…I mean, honestly, I got 127% on our final examination…even higher than Bill or Percy Weasley…"

He raised a hand to stop her and she halted in mid-sentence.

"Miss Granger, I am not rejecting your application," he said.  " I will accept it because I feel it is the right time for me to take on an apprentice.  You do have some appreciation of the subtle art and exact science, which is Potions.  Your technique will improve over time but the basics are there.  The desire to learn is there and I believe you will do an adequate job and not cause me more than the usual number of headaches."

"I will do my best, Sir," Hermione replied dutifully.

"Such a Gryffindor sentiment," he smirked as he took out a quill to sign the application.  He rolled it up and returned it to her.  "Enjoy your summer, Miss Granger.  I expect that I will see you in September.  Try not to waste it by prattling on the fellytone incessantly with Potter and Weasley."

Hermione smiled, thinking of the animagus registration she had heartily shredded and the conversation she had had with the Headmaster regarding the events of two weeks prior.

_"No, Professor Snape.  You will be seeing me somewhat sooner than that,"_ she thought as she nodded and left his office.  As she walked down the corridor back to Gryffindor tower, she put a hand in her pocket and felt the object hidden inside.  It was a cat collar, Slytherin green, with a silver name tag upon which was inscribed one word.

SPERANZA 

_A/N:  Speranza means hope in Italian_


	2. Caridad

Disclaimer:  Anything you recognize belongs to the goddess, JKR.  A sequel to 'Speranza' and the second part of 'The Higher Graces'.  Inspired by "Heart of the Wolf" by metallicafangirl.  Dedicated to all members of F.L.A.M.E.R.  (each of whom I respect immensely).  The title is Portuguese for charity.

Caridad 

Well, at the very least, he had found someone to talk to. 

Wasn't it what Albus had harped on about for the past fifteen years?  Don't keep your feelings bottled up like a phial of Dreamless Sleep potion.  Don't put up so many barriers.  Don't ascribe your continued existence to a cruel whim of fate.  Don't delude yourself into thinking there is no purpose left for you simply because the Dark Lord is nothing more than a terrible memory and you can no longer get yourself killed in battle.

Find someone to talk to.  Find someone to listen to you.

Severus smirked as he sat back on his chair.  He didn't think Albus had meant his current companion, Speranza, when he underscored the importance of talking to someone…anyone.

The cat in question was lazily draped around his shoulders, purring contentedly as Severus sat in his chair marking third year essays on the advances in treatments for lycanthropy.  Every so often, Severus would reach up and scratch under her chin, chuckling at how the cat apparently loved these small gestures of affection.

"You are a distraction, Speranza," he said, pushing away the papers and collecting the bundle of fur from its preferred resting place and holding her close for a moment.  "But you are a precious distraction."

The cat meowed quietly and butted her head against his chin as if to say 'and never forget that fact'.

Severus leaned back in his chair and ran his fingers along Speranza's back.  Again, she began to purr as she nestled into his chest and looked up at him.

"You are a little minx.  You know that, don't you?  Always so easily pleased.  How else would you have chosen me to be your familiar…your human, if you will?  I highly doubt there are other cats leaping at the opportunity to spend evenings with the dreaded Potions Master of Hogwarts.

She batted a paw at his hand and twitched her whiskers.

"Yes, you are easily pleased, Speranza.  Feign to deny it but a mere scratch under the chin has you purring in sheer ecstasy," he chuckled at how his cat was now trying to capture his hand and pretend to bite it.  He tapped it on the nose in a knowing manner.  "Some humans are easily pleased as well.  Take the Headmaster, for instance.  Bring him a plate of sherbet lemons and he is completely satisfied with the order of the universe.  Don't get me wrong, he is a wonderful man…brilliant to a fault, compassionate to excess, eccentric and certainly meddlesome at times…but wonderful all the same."

He sat in silence for several minutes, scratching behind Speranza's ears and feeling the low rumble of her purring resonate through his chest.  It was an oddly comforting thing.

"Of course," he remarked suddenly, causing the cat's ears to perk up immediately, "there are others who are never satisfied.  Take our dear Transfiguration professor, Miss Granger.  She is an eminent example of a person who is never satisfied."

The cat regarded him quizzically, head tilted to one side.

"You have not met her, Speranza.  I am not certain she is ready to see you since the death of her own familiar a few months ago.  Ah, but I have recently acquired a photograph…let me see…I had it right…" Severus reached down to open a desk drawer and, after fishing through its contents and finding a long lost quill and a phial of red ink, withdrew the photograph in question.

"You see…there she is.  You can tell right away that she is a young woman of unwavering curiosity and uncommon intelligence…never satisfied with the simple answer.  In a word, infuriating."

The cat regarded the photo lazily, tail flicking every so often.  She leaned forward to sniff the paper cautiously, stretching out a paw to touch it.

"No, don't damage the photo, Speranza," Severus put the photo out of the inquisitive cat's reach.  "It's the only one I have of her and I do not wish for it to be damaged.

Speranza began to cough slightly.

"I forgot to give you your hairball tonic the other night, didn't I?  It's the curse of having such bushy fur, Speranza," Severus put the photograph on his desk and reached into the drawer again.  He pulled out a small bottle, which he opened with his thumb.  "Here, drink some of this potion.  I changed the taste to something you will really appreciate…liver."

The cat dutifully licked the top of the bottle until Severus took it away.

"That will help," Severus said quietly as he put the bottle away.  He picked up the photo again and looked at it with a critical eye.  Hermione Granger, Transfiguration Professor for the past two years due to the retirement of Minerva McGonagall, was standing by the rose gardens near Greenhouse 4.  She obviously was unaware that the photograph was being taken as her attention was focused on the roses.   The gentle glow of the setting sun did beautiful things to her skin, added a luster to her hair that he had never noticed before.

There were many things about her that he had never noticed while she had been a student.  But, in the past year, he had certainly noticed…

"She is an insufferable know-it-all," he said with a smirk and then winced as Speranza stretched suddenly, digging her claws into his chest.

But he looked at the photograph for many more minutes.  

Speranza meowed and Severus turned his attention back to his cat.  "Who would have thought that someone such as I would develop…an attraction of sorts…to someone like her?  If she were here right now, she would run screaming to Sirius Black to protect her from the miserable old bat that I am."

Severus glared at his cat as it began to cough again.  "I suppose I didn't make the potion strong enough.  No matter, it will take effect shortly."

Speranza began licking a paw and rubbing it over her face.

"I suppose I am simply an old fool, Speranza," he mused morosely.  "She is everything any man could want.  She is kind and caring.  Talented and determined.  Warm and nurturing.  Beautiful….she is certainly beautiful."

Speranza stopped to look at him for a moment before resuming her toilette.

"It's been over a year, Speranza.  I can't get her out of my thoughts…out of my dreams.  What on earth happened to me?  I was quite content with my solitary little existence.  I had you…what more could I want?  She returns to Hogwarts after graduating at the top of her class and is a veritable thorn in my side for the first year.  Making my very teeth ache in aggravation over her incessant questions.  Sometimes I wonder…perhaps hope…that there is a reason why she is constantly seeking my company.  If you haven't noticed, my social skills are not superlative, Speranza."

Speranza simply paused to mrowr in apparent disagreement and continued with her grooming.

"Merlin help me, Speranza.  I think I am falling in love with her and it scares me to death," Severus put the cat on his desk and got up to pace frantically.  "I don't know the first thing about love.  I don't know the first thing about anything like this.  I always thought that caring for someone so deeply was a sign of weakness.  I always thought that letting someone into your heart rendered you vulnerable.  I used to laugh at it and said that it was a mere glamourization of the need for procreation but I was wrong.  I am so wrong.  And I am back to where I started, unsure of what to do."

Speranza sat sphinx-like on the desk and regarded him intently.  Severus walked back to the desk and, crouching down, he crossed his arms on the desk and rested his chin on his hands so that he was at eye-level with his cat.

"So, my most intelligent and talented of cats.  What exactly should I do?"

Speranza meowed as she got up and padded quietly over to him, rubbing against his cheek and purring.

"That wasn't a particularly articulate response, little minx," Severus chuckled, picking her up suddenly and, standing up, holding her close to him.  "If only I could use you to deliver a message.  You would be much more discreet than those damned owls."

Speranza meowed again.

"I feel like a foolish fifth year, Speranza.  Look at me.  I am over forty and I have fallen in love with a woman half my age," Severus paused for a moment.  "I didn't just say that, did I?"

The cat merely twitched her tail impatiently.

Sighing, Severus put her down on the floor.  She rubbed against his legs affectionately, purring loudly.

"I know, little minx of a cat.  Time for Speranza to terrorize innocent mice," he walked to the door of his office and opened the door.  The cat padded deliberately to the open door but stopped to gaze at him intently.

"Sometimes, Speranza, I would swear that you were almost human," he sighed, leaning down to caress her.  "I am glad you found me when you did.  I don't think all the mice in the world will ever repay that debt."

Speranza twitched her whiskers and bounded down the corridor.

Severus watched her go and smiled.   Such a minx of a cat…the perfect companion for a solitary figure such as himself.

Looking at his magical clock, Severus realized that he was late for a meeting with the Headmaster.  They had spoken at dinner regarding an upcoming visit from the Potions Master from Durmstrang, Viktor Krum.  The truth was that having the young Bulgarian at Hogwarts was twisting Severus' stomach in knots.  What if Hermione rekindled her earlier romance with him?

Sighing, Severus locked the door and made his way to the griffin that guarded the entrance to the Headmaster's office.  He only paused for a short time when he caught a seventh year Ravenclaw and a sixth year Hufflepuff snogging behind the statue of the one-humped witch.  A total of sixty lost points later, he found himself in front of the griffin.

"Turkish Delight," he uttered with a flick of his hands.  The griffin began to turn with an initial grinding of rock against rock.  He ascended the staircase and was about to knock on the door when he noticed that it was ajar.  He moved closer but stopped upon perceiving voices.  One was that of the Headmaster while the other…

_"Hermione?  What can she possibly want with him at this hour?  Some emergency in the Gryffindor common room, no doubt,"_ he thought to himself.  He decided to listen in on the conversation.  After all, he wasn't sorted into Slytherin without just cause.

"Are you certain, Hermione?"

"I can't do this any longer…it…it is becoming…it's changed…I just can't..."

Severus noted that her voice sounded muffled, as if she had recently been crying.

"Does he suspect the truth, do you think?"

"I don't believe so.  I have been very careful."

_"What on earth can she be talking about?  Is she pregnant?"_ The thought made him ill…pregnancy implied intimacy, which meant she loved someone else.

"The time turner has been of immense help although, initially, I never thought Minerva would approve its use for such a purpose.  And I really don't want to give this up…this closeness…this…I don't know what this is anymore.  It's so much more than I would have expected two years ago.  There is so much more to him…I learn something each evening…I just don't know anymore…and now…this…"

"Then…why, Hermione?  I have never seen Severus so at peace with himself.  Speranza has been his saving grace.  You and I both know that."

Another outburst of sobs.

"There, there, Hermione.  Why has it become so difficult?  As I remember, you initially found it to be most amusing."

"That was before…before…"

"Before what, Hermione?"

Severus heard the sound of frantic footsteps and assumed that she was now pacing the well-worn floors of the office.

"I saved his life because I felt sorry for him…I did not mean to deceive him but I could not let him destroy himself."

"We have discussed this many times, Hermione.  We agreed that your animagus abilities should remain unregistered for Severus' sake.  You have become his companion…his confidant.  You have been a beneficial and positive influence in his life."

  
Severus felt himself slipping to the floor in disbelief.  Speranza was Hermione!  Hermione was Speranza.  And he had just told her about his feelings for her.  He felt light-headed and dizzy, nauseous from the humiliation.  Gripping the wall tightly, he tried to hold back the shudders of remorse that coursed through his body.  She had felt sorry for him…and had continued in this little farce to ensure he would not try to harm himself again.

There was more conversation but Severus had heard enough.  There was a curious ringing in his ears that blotted it all out.  And the grief in his heart quickly transformed into pain.  And the pain grew.  He was soon engulfed in a blind, bitter rage and he stood up, schooled his expression into the accustomed sneer and burst into the office, robes billowing dramatically as he strode towards the stunned pair.

"Severus?" Albus spoke first.  "What a pleasant surprise.  I did expect you about half an hour ago…"

"How dare you?" Severus shouted at Hermione.  She blanched as sudden realization hit her.  "How dare you take your amusement at my expense?"

"You don't understand, Severus…I never meant..."

"How terribly Gryffindor of you, Hermione!  I never meant to gain your trust through an assumed form and throw it back in your face, Severus," he drawled.  "I never meant to humiliate you by listening to all your secrets, Severus.  I never meant to make you look like a complete fool, Severus.  I never meant to betray you, Severus."

"Severus, please be reasonable…" Albus tried to interrupt but Severus held up a hand to stop the older wizard.

"Don't tell me to be reasonable, Albus," he hissed through pursed lips.  "I thought I had a friend…a companion.  What I had was a lie…a deception from my own colleagues.  Well, I hope you enjoyed the show but it will end tonight.  I will bring you my resignation tomorrow morning and I would suggest you find another Potions instructor before month's end or else the seventh years will be in dire straits for their NEWTs.

"Severus, you can't leave…please…you have to hear me out…you don't understand…" Hermione pleaded with him, coming closer and reaching out a hand.

He backed away from her, feeling betrayed by her mere proximity.

"I can and I will, Professor Granger," he replied coldly…emphasizing the formality of the title, which served to place miles of distance between them.

Her eyes began to fill with tears.

"Don't waste your tears, Professor Granger.  I am certain that you and your cronies can fill your craws with my many failings for some weeks to come," Severus drew his cloak tightly around himself.  

"Severus!  You are acting like a child!" Albus stormed, anger radiating from the normally placid blue eyes.

"Am I?  Well, I suppose that is an improvement over the insufferable bat that I am usually equated to!" Severus raged, walking towards the door.  He turned back to Hermione, who was openly weeping.  "And to think I almost committed the cardinal sin of…well, it does not matter any longer.  You can take your Gryffindor charity, Miss Granger, and save it for someone who gives a damn!"

He swept out of the room and hurried down to his chambers.  Heart burning with sorrow and indignation, humiliation and rage, he knew that sleep would elude him unless he took drastic measures.  For a moment, out of sheer habit, he looked for the small creature that had been a part of his life for the past two years.  Initially, Speranza had never stayed overnight but, in the last few months, it had been happening every couple of nights.  He would lie back in his bed, clad in his somber gray nightshirt and she would curl contentedly on his chest and not move until morning.  

And she probably had laughed at him because of his affection for his pet.

He hadn't hurt this much in years.  The pain was almost blinding.

Taking out a bottle of Dreamless Sleep potion, he quickly measured out a dose and drank it.  He fell onto his bed, still fully clothed, and knew no more…

*************************_back at the Headmaster's office_**********************

"It's all my fault, Albus.  I should never have let things progress this far without telling him.  He will never forgive me," Hermione sobbed bitterly, refusing the cup of tea that the old wizard offered her.

"Never is a strong word to use, Hermione.  He is certainly angry, but…"

"Angry?  If it were only that.  He despises me and thinks I have been manipulating him.  He doesn't understand that it isn't charity…it hasn't been for quite some time."

Albus sat down next to her and patted her cold hand.  "What is it now, Hermione?"

Hermione looked up and tears spilled down her pale cheeks.   "It's love.  Merlin help me but I love the man, Albus.  And now, I fear I have lost him forever."

And she burst into tears again.

A/N:  Part three will be coming shortly to be followed by an epilogue.


	3. Emunah

Disclaimer:  Anything you recognize belongs to the goddess, JKR.   Dedicated to my friends.  The title is Hebrew for belief…I am using it to mean faith (thanks Mel!).

Emunah 

Six weeks.

Three days.

Eight hours.

Twenty-seven minutes.

Severus Snape was quickly learning that a life not filled with annoying students, lesson plans, night patrols and the tedious work of marking was a life lived very, very slowly.  In fact, he found himself watching the swinging pendulum of his clock and wondering what on earth he was going to do with the rest of his life.  His life for so many years had revolved around Hogwarts.  His home.  His sanctuary.  His refuge.

Dumbledore had made it quite clear that he would not accept the resignation immediately but had offered instead a leave of absence…a sabbatical of a few months to get his head clear.  If, after three months, he still wished to resign, the Headmaster would make the necessary arrangements.  But, as Severus reflected, where was he to go?  Job prospects were not exactly easy to find at the best of times.  Potions Masters tended to stay in one place and a good position at a reasonably good school was a rarity.

"And, to make matters worse, he hired Black to teach in my absence," Severus practically gritted his teeth in annoyance.  "The man doesn't know the difference between butterbeer and a dreamless sleep potion.  It's a wonder no one has died yet."

In fact, Severus was beginning to think that his only option would be to traverse the Atlantic and seek out a position in either Canada or the United States…and he was not terribly happy with either choice.  Canada was too cold and a working knowledge of French was a requirement.  The United States was too big and overcrowded classrooms promised to be more boisterous than what he had been used to.

What was he going to do?

His thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door and, wearily, Severus got up.

"Who's there?" he asked in a voice that clearly demonstrated he was not in the mood to entertain unexpected guests.

There was no answer.

Sighing, and not without some trepidation, Severus unlocked the door and opened it.  He barely registered the rapidly approaching fist when he felt an explosion of pain in his right jaw and felt himself falling backwards onto the hard tile floor.  Hitting his head, he blinked back the twinkling stars and forced himself slowly into a sitting position, massaging his jaw gingerly.  He tasted blood and a tooth had been knocked out.  He pulled it out of his mouth and looked at it for a moment before looking up at his visitor.

"Nice to see you too, Black," Severus raised his eyes to the raging man in front of him.

"What the hell is wrong with you, Snape?" Sirius yelled.

"You, for one thing.  You teaching Potions is another," Severus smirked as he got to his feet, using a wing chair for support, as he was still somewhat wobbly.

"I have half a mind to tear you apart with my bare hands," Sirius growled.  

"I wouldn't stop you.  Far be it from me to take away from your obvious pleasure in my dismemberment," Severus drawled, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Stop acting like such an insufferable bastard, Snape.  You and I both know why I am here."

"Did you need help preparing lesson plans?" Severus sneered.

Sirius took a step forward but checked himself.  "We need to talk."

"Really?  I didn't realize your form of communications included fisticuffs," Severus replied sarcastically.  "Very articulate.  By the way, you pack a mean left hook, by the way."

"I'm right-handed…I might have killed you otherwise."

"It would not have been a great loss."

Sirius glared at him.  "Stop acting like a bloody martyr, Snape!  It doesn't suit you!"

"Why are you here, Black?  Other than causing me much annoyance, I see no purpose to your continued presence."

"It's against my better judgment, Snape.  In fact, if I didn't think there was any other way…"

"For heaven's sake, man, just spit it out!  I haven't all day, you know.  A social calendar such as mine fills up rather quickly.  Everyone wants time with the former Death Eater, former Potions Master…"

"You have to come back to Hogwarts, Snape."

Severus stopped in mid-sentence and stared at the other man.

"My apologies, Black.  The blow to my head must have altered my hearing.  Did you just tell me that I had to go back to Hogwarts?"

Sirius nodded grimly.

"I have only ever listened to you once, Black, and I don't recall it being a pleasant experience," Severus spat out.

Sirius had the good grace to look somewhat abashed.  "I know I have acted like a bloody prat at times, and I am not saying that you were completely undeserving, you know…"

"Of course, I completely understand why you would want me to be killed or afflicted with the same curse as Lupin."

"Look…I am not here to start digging up the past!  We have both done things in our past that we would give anything to erase.  Let's leave them in the past.  I'm here to talk about the here and now."

"How prosaic, Black.  Dumbledore is rubbing off on you."

"It's too bad he didn't rub off on you otherwise you wouldn't be here, feeling sorry for yourself while a young woman who, for some unknown reason, loves you, is miserable back at Hogwarts."

Severus frowned at Sirius.  "That isn't true.  Kindly, do me the courtesy of not lying to my face."

"I wish I could," Sirius ran a hand through his hair tiredly.  "How I wish I could laugh at you and say that none of this is true.  That she doesn't love you.  That it is all a joke.  But, it's not.  As much as I hate to admit it, Hermione loves you.  Why she does is a complete mystery to me.  I never thought she would love a person like you…always thought she might go for Ron or Harry or maybe Percy.  Hell, even Krum would have been a better choice in my eyes.  But no, she would have none of them.  Set her eyes on you, she did.  Never said anything to anyone, except maybe Dumbledore because he knew about the whole unregistered animagus issue and he always had a soft spot for you."

"Yes, he has always taken it upon himself to protect the pathetic cases," Severus sat down on the wing chair and massaged his temples fiercely.  "He should be canonized."

"Dumbledore doesn't think of you as pathetic, you idiot.  And neither does Hermione."

"She deceived me."

"She wanted to protect you.  She was scared you might try to…well, hurt yourself again."

"She pitied me."

"She has never pitied you and has always said that she admired your strength and courage…her words, not mine," Sirius added quickly.

"She was an eavesdropper."

"You had no one else to talk to and she wanted to be there for you.  She actually liked spending the evenings with you, watching you work and watching you write.  She thought…you were misunderstood more than anything else."

"It seems as if she told you everything," Severus replied bitterly.

"I had to practically administer Veritaserum to get the truth out of her.  She has been miserable for the past few weeks.  She isn't eating, although she makes a great play at moving food around her plate.  She is barely sleeping, although she is masterful at concealing her fatigue.  She looks as if she is ready to break.  What was I supposed to do?  Leave her alone?  Wait for her to drop?"

Severus did not reply and merely glared at Sirius.

"Snape, I know you feel betrayed by all this.  Someone you thought was your confidante and your friend suddenly turns out to be something quite different.  But, you have to realize that she was scared to tell you the truth because…she loved you and didn't want to lose you," Sirius looked quite ill saying this.

"Love must be built on trust and honesty.  She has shown me neither," Severus said quietly.

Sirius raised a questioning eyebrow at the comment and shook his head in mock wonder.  "She did, you know…in a way.  Cats don't lie.  I know because I have personal experience in the matter.  Very truthful beasts."

"I…I don't know, Black.  I find it difficult to believe that she could harbour any feelings for me."

"Well, she does and she is miserable because of it.  You have to do the right thing and come back, Snape.  I…I know you…care about her…maybe you even love her.  What is to be gained from sitting here, moping, when your chance at happiness is so close?  Take it from me, when you get a chance like that, you have to grab it.   If you don't have faith, you have nothing."

Severus stared at Sirius for several moments.

"When did you become such a philosopher, Black?"

"I let one get away…and I regret it each day," Sirius replied, his expression carefully guarded.  

"I will…think about it, Black.  Don't ask me to make a decision this instant.  I don't believe I am capable of that."

Sirius nodded, turning towards the open door. 

"And, Black?"

Sirius glanced back.

"Thank you."

Sirius mumbled something incoherent about Slytherins before exiting and closing the door behind him.

_"Perhaps Black is right,"_ he thought to himself.  "_Perhaps it is time for the traitor and the spy to show that he too can make a blind leap of faith."_

And, for the first time in many weeks, he smiled.

*        *        *        *        *        *

Several nights later, Hermione was sitting in her office, reviewing seventh year proposals for their theses when there was a knock at her door.  Too tired to answer it herself, she merely picked up her wand and opened the door with a quick 'Alohomora.'

There was no one there.

Thinking it must have been Peeves and one of his infernal practical jokes, Hermione sighed and quickly resumed the task at hand.  She nearly jumped out of her skin when something warm and silky brushed against her leg.

"What on earth…" she thought as she leapt to her feet.  Looking down, she saw a black cat staring up at her.  It quickly jumped onto the desk and sat down, gazing at her calmly.

Hermione sat down and stared at the cat, a hand reaching out to scratch behind its ears.  The cat began to purr in a drawling sort of way.  She laughed…it suddenly reminded her of Draco Malfoy.

"Who are you?" she asked with a smile.  "I haven't seen you here before.  You must be one of Mrs. Norris' many progeny.  You are a rather skinny cat but you have lovely shiny black fur."

The cat meowed at her as she ran her fingers along its back.

"Are you hungry?" she asked, picking up the cat and holding it close to her.

The cat merely yawned.  Hermione suddenly yawned as well.  Glancing at the wizarding clock, she gasped at the time.

"You're right, it's very late.  I was supposed to be in bed hours ago," she looked at the cat again.  "Well, do you have somewhere to go?  I could offer my chambers…"

The cat snuggled deeper into her arms in response.

"I suppose I will take that as a yes," she smiled sleepily as she left the various parchments on her desk and locked up her office.  She walked quickly to her chambers and, unwarding the entrance temporarily, she made her way to her bedroom.  "I apologize for not being better company but I am very tired.  We will get to know one another better tomorrow."  Yawning, she didn't even take off her clothes before lying down on the bed and falling asleep almost instantly.

She didn't feel the cat jump up on the bed and curl up beside her.

********************

The next morning, Hermione awoke to the feeling of being warm and secure.  She heard a muffled pounding…strong and steady.  For a moment, she did not recognize it.  And then, she did.

It was someone's heartbeat.

Opening her eyes, she found herself wrapped in someone's arms.  Someone who had a scent she recognized almost without realizing it.  Someone who was gazing at her with strangely familiar eyes.  Someone she loved.  And someone, she realized suddenly, who loved her as well.

"Severus?" she whispered in disbelief.

He nodded, softly kissing the top of her head.

"How?"

He gently placed a finger on her lips.  "A most unlikely source told me that, sometimes, one must take a leap of faith.  I have taken that piece of advice to heart…and so here I am.  I know that I am not much, but all that I am is yours…if you want me."

"Am I dreaming, Severus?"

"No, Hermione.  You are quite awake."

She smiled at him.  "Good."

_A/N:  The epilogue will be coming soon!  In case you haven't noticed by now, this story is loosely based on the three graces…faith, hope and charity.  The epilogue will focus on the greatest grace; which, in my opinion, is love. _


	4. Und Das Größte Geschenk ist Liebe

**Dis_claimer_**_:  Anything you recognize belongs to the goddess, JKR.  Anyone who didn't realize that should check themselves into St. Mungo's immediately (and please send my regards to Gilderoy).  Lovingly dedicated to Mel, Terry, Taber and the late Badie…friends who disguised themselves as teachers and always encouraged me to keep striving._   _Short and sweet with just a touch of snark. The title is German for 'And the Greatest Gift is Love'.  Thanks to everyone who gave me the translation._

****
    
    **Und Das Größte Geschenk ist Liebe**

Hermione had never been so nervous in her life.   She peeked through the curtain and stole a glance at the dark-haired man pacing nervously in front of a most amused Albus Dumbledore.  Every so often, the man would run a hand through his black hair and shake his head, obviously mumbling something under his breath.  He never could get used to being singled out…especially now that he was getting married.

She closed the curtain again and needlessly looked over her own bouquet as if to see if there was anything wrong with it.  She looked around and smiled at the others…the weather had cooperated and it was a beautiful fall morning.  The courtyard was in full bloom and the very air seemed perfumed with a variety of floral scents.

The music began and Hermione could hear the soft chatter of many voices suddenly diminish and she knew that the time had finally come.  The curtain was drawn back and she stepped forward, walking slowly and gracefully to the melody.  She could see the nervous groom as he straightened his dress robes again and again.  His eyes finally brightened as he caught sight of the woman he loved and his nervousness seemed to melt away as he stood, enraptured, by the vision of beauty that was coming to him.

Hermione smiled as she reached the small raised dais where he was standing and winked at him.   As she walked past him, she whispered, "About bloody time, Harry.  I thought Ginny would have to use an Unforgiveable to get you to marry her."

Harry grinned as she took her place as witness to the union of Harry Potter and Ginny Weasley.  Her eyes misted as she watched her friends pledge their lives to each other in undying bonds of love.  Ron was the other witness and he helped Hermione drape a length of raw silk over the joined hands of the nervous bride and groom.

Dumbledore placed his right hand over the joined hands of the smiling couple.  He gazed at each of them with deep affection and began the final pronouncement.

"Where there were two hearts beating alone, now there is one heart united in love.  Where there were two lives lived in solitude, now there is one life which is complete.  Where there were two souls floating aimlessly, now there is one with a purpose.  Through the greater gifts that we hold to be higher than all others, your marriage will thrive.  Through hope in all things, you will endure.  Through faith in your love, you will persevere.  Through charity in your heart, you will be rewarded many times over.  But it is through your love for each other that you will receive the greatest happiness.  Only through love for it is, without a doubt, the greatest of all these gifts.  May you always be as happy as you are today and may each day bring you a new memory to treasure.  You are husband and wife.  Be good to one another."

Harry produced a plain gold band from his pocket and placed it on Ginny's finger.

"I am yours, forever," he said quietly.  "And you are mine."

"I am yours, forever," Ginny replied, placing her other hand over his.  "And you are mine."

Harry leaned down and kissed his new wife softly on the lips.  Hermione felt tears pricking at the back of her eyes and looked away from her friends towards a dark figure who was standing near the back of the group.  He smirked and, with a surreptitious wave of his wand, she found herself with a handkerchief in her hand.

She smiled at Severus…appreciating the kind gesture even if it didn't sit well with his whole notion of silly wand waving.  He always had a way of settling her and his wry sense of humour, grossly under-appreciated by most people, had been a saving grace over the last few months of preparing for the wedding.  

Really, a snarky man had his merits.  And Severus could be very, very snarky.

The ceremony was now complete and the guests were coming forward to offer their congratulations.   Hermione, glad that she was no longer needed, stole away to a more secluded area.  She set her bouquet on a stone bench and walked over to a rosebush full of luscious red blooms.

"You should have them in your hair," a low voice spoke behind her.  She turned around and smiled as she saw Severus with a single red rose in his hand.

"I never thought you could be, dare I say it, romantic?" she accepted the rose, twirling it in her fingers.

"I blame it on daily exposure to Gryffindor know-it-alls," he replied with a smirk.

She giggled as she embraced him and kissed him, quite soundly, on the lips.

"You are, my dear Potions Master, the snarkiest of men and I quite love you for it," she whispered.

"Do you believe in what our lemon-drop aficionado said about love?" he asked, his eyes intently searching hers.

"Yes, I do," she replied.

"You do know that I love you, Hermione?"

"Yes, Severus.  I do."

He leaned down to kiss her again, holding her tightly.

"I have one more question, Hermione," he whispered into her ear.  "Would you answer it the same way?  Would you say 'I do'?"

She looked at him, eyes sparkling.

"You might want to take a closer look at your rose," he gently kissed her cheek.

She released him from their close embrace and immediately realized that she was no longer holding the rose.

"Oh bloody hell!" she shouted, causing a few guests to look in her direction.  "I dropped it!"  She began looking down at the pathway and along the manicured lawns.

Severus laughed and took her hand.  "Don't lose your head like a frantic Hufflepuff.  It's here."

Puzzled, she looked at her hand and gasped.  There, on her ring finger was…

"It was my aunt's engagement ring…one of the few members of my family who truly did marry for love," Severus explained.

"Are you interested in marrying for love?" Hermione asked.

"I thought it was *my* duty to propose marriage," he teased, tapping her on the nose.

"Well, if that is the case, you might want to hurry it up a bit.  The photographer is glaring at me," she smiled.

Notwithstanding the glaring photographer, Severus kneeled in front of her.

"Marry me, Hermione" he said.  

"Oh, get up you overbearing bat, people are staring," she giggled.

"Not until you answer me…and there is only one answer I want to hear."

"Ah, well it is a convenient thing that the answer you want to hear is the only answer I would give you.  Yes, Severus, I do believe I will marry you…now get up before you fall over."

He stood and kissed her.

"I love you, Hermione."

"I love you as well, Severus.  Don't ever forget that."

"I may need periodic…reminding?" he raised an eyebrow.

She smiled.  "Insufferable man."

"Correction, Hermione," he kissed her hand.  "Insufferable fiancé."

A/N:  The title is German for "And the greatest gift is love".  Thanks to everyone who answered my request for the translation. 


End file.
